A rather heated conversation that I recently had with a friend is triggering this post...
Sometimes I feel a little stifled in our conservative Reformed circles. I know the truth is preached and the Word proclaimed faithfully every Sunday. Yet I feel that something is missing somehow. Sometimes I feel like we (myself included) can be so artificial - if you don't dress the right way (skirts for women, dress pants and ties for men), comments will be made. I know this is a generalization. But are we as God-fearing, Bible believing Christ followers actually living out the Word that is made known every week? Why is so much emphasis placed on the external appearance? I think more than one person in our churches has experienced these sentiments at some time... so how are we to change things? Why are people feeling this way in our churches - shouldn't this be a concern? How do we make our Christianity a vibrant part of our life, flowing straight from a heart of love, not a heart of judging? Even while writing this I know I fail all the time. My heart of pride is always judging those around me, so that I come out looking a little better... I'm not sure where I'm going with this now, but I would love to hear your thoughts.
Here is a song by Casting Crowns with appropriate lyrics - not exactly the issue I am addressing but similar:
"Stained Glass Masquerade"
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay
6 comments:
Hmmm...I do think these opinions change with time.To church I do think women should wear dresses/skirts and preferably suits for men.And then they MUST be modest.(not super tight,not short or revealing and I'm even having trouble with bare tanned legs.I see men looking and not just young men. No bare backs,bosoms,shoulders or legs much above the knee...WAY too much of that lately!)Church is a place where men should be able to relax from the temptations in the world and focus on the preached Word.Outside of church as long as it's modest I don't care.Although I still feel uncomfortable with women wearing pants to Christian activities sometimes and sometimes I'm not bothered.(we're all affected by how we were raised)I hate it when after a church service people change into grubby clothes. To change is fine but not sweatpants and logoed shirts. There's just no difference then between churched and unchurched.I wish our minister would relax too but I think he gets pressure to dress in a black suit and tie at all times.Plus a suit probably commands a little more respect. I "get your drift" from the words of the song and feel the same way sometimes but I think it mostly stems from the fact that I'M lacking in holiness.Hope this helps you some Irene!
I should clarify...I don't mean I don't care how ladies dress outside of church because modesty still rules but I don't care if they wear pants.
That's fine if you prefer skirts and suits, but how can you say that that is what should be worn to church?? The Bible only speaks of being dressed modestly... I think it's a good practice to dress neatly and respectably to church, and I understand that we have been raised to weart skirts but it's attitudes that look down on those who don't wear a tie or skirt that really bugs me.
Judging is always wrong, and it unfortunately happens on both sides of the spectrum. How much pressure is there from some people to wear pants to certain events, lest you be considered too conservative in a skirt? About church. Of course the Biblical principle is modesty, not black pants and dressy skirts. However, our exterior does reflect something of our interior. If I would wear a jean skirt and a t-shirt to a wedding it'd be considered tacky and perhaps inconsiderate of the occasion. The same goes for a church service. We are entering a holy place, to serve our God, and we should be dressed appropriately. Does that mean it has to be a skirt instead of pants? In our Dutch Reformed culture, yes. Is this more Biblically sound? No. If someone who grew up in our circles suddenly starts wearing pants I can hardly imagine it's with a pure heart to serve the Lord better. Rather it's often accompanied with a rebellious - inconsiderate heart, determined to see change happen, even at the cost of hurting and offending godly believers. To get back to judging - both the 'liberals' and the 'conservatives' need to examine their own attitudes behind the choices they make in light of God's Word. There's just as much backbiting and judging done by those who have been 'englightened' by more relaxing standards in dress and lifestyle choices!
You said "Why is so much emphasis placed on the external appearance?"
It's actually not that much emphasis; it's understood that women should wear modest dresses/skirts, and guys to wear suits. It's actually quite easy, and it's been that way for years. Now that young people are being raised in the 21st century however, living within guidelines is so judgemental and legalistic.
If others want to go and place a whole lot of emphasis on the outward appearance and say that they're exercising Christian liberty by wearing that which doesn't fit the above criteria, I don't see what there is to get all bent out of shape about. The guidelines are exceedingly simple. If you must supersede the guideline to feel whole as a person, I think Sandra's comment deals with that attitude perfectly.
It comes down to this: The guidelines are there, live within them. Our churches need fewer vigilantes, and more vigilant Christians.
Interesting comments. We have to stick with the Bible, plain and simple. That means modesty. I'd much rather see a lady in nice pants than in a short skirt. I have a real problem with the people being very conservative in church, but wearing bikinis, etc. doesn't matter? We do place too much on the externals. It's a very poor measuring stick. If we spend tons of time on looking good for church and little time praying - get the drift? Girls wear pants in our church (conservative Reformed Church) and it doesn't seem to be a problem. Those who take offence, are often not spiritual but bullies. They want things their way. We do change with time (who wears gloves?) It doesn't always mean that's bad. Personally, I like ties, though a person without a tie doesn't offend me either. If my husband was a minister, he would not be wearing a black suit - I abhor black suits! White shirts can be very boring. I am a grandmother many times over, and if I see one of the grandchildren dressed in very casual - well too bad for me. I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. We have to work at not being the frozen chosen.
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